Mommy Milestone - showering

So I think there are mother's milestones just as there are milestones for a baby.  Some they share like birth (obviously), first feeding, first bath, first time away, etc.  but there are some that are uniquely for moms.  Some are easy and some are scary.  Today I met one of my milestones, one of the scary ones - I showered while it was just the baby and I in the house alone.

"we stole the baby!"

For some reason the idea of showering while the baby sleeps is terrifying to me.  My overactive imagination runs rampant.  The baby will spit up and choke in her sleep and I won't know until after I get out of the shower.  The baby will miraculously roll over for the first time, in her sleep, and suffocate on the mattress.  The combination of the fact that I'm partially deaf, the white noise generator and the shower will drown out noises - such as a kidnapper (or some over-eager Brownies)  sneaking into the house and taking the baby from the stupid Dakini while she showers, or she'll start crying and the 10 minutes of crying alone will forever scar her and prevent her from trusting people therefore preventing her from creating lasting relationships so she'll never fall in love and will become the crazy cat lady.

So they are not really rational fears but they are all thoughts that go through my mind when I think about leaving her alone.

Well today it was a must do.  I'm going out tonight to celebrate a friend's birthday and Ken won't be home with enough time for me to shower.  And I REALLY needed a shower.  So I gave E a bath first.  (Mommy's smelly, baby needs a bath)  Then got her to sleep and made sure she was sleeping soundly.  I laid her on her changing pad in the living room (where she usually takes her naps) and ran for the shower.  I momentarily stopped in the doorway to my bedroom and contemplated getting the baby monitor from by her crib but didn't because 1) the time it would take to set up was valuable shower time and 2) I wouldn't be able to hear the monitor over the shower anyway.

While showering I was convinced I could hear her crying despite that I can't even hear Ken talking in the same room when I'm showering. So I took the world's quickest shower in which all surfaces are cleaned and a lightining fast shave since we are going out in public tonight.  When I turned the shower off I couldn't hear anything.  You would think this would convince me that she was ok, but no, my overactive imagination cooked up all sorts of scenarios where she was silent because of horrible situations.  So I dashed back out of the shower, and went to the living room while still in my towel to check on her.  What did I find? An empty bed? a mother's worst nightmare?.....



She's asleep of course!

Nope, just a sleeping baby.

So one mommy milestone down.  Hopefully this experience will make it easier to take showers while she sleeps on a more regular basis without the terrible scenarios playing out in my mind.

I hope her milestones pass just as successfully, but hopefully are not as scary as mine.