Cup training

Transparency in that raising my little ELM isn't always rainbows and lollipops...

...or the first time strong willed child meets short tempered mommy.

I don't know what it is about this that is making me so short tempered.  Normally I have a slow burning fuse and it takes a lot to get me riled up.  I teach middle school children for heaven's sake! But something about the way she screams, pours out her milk, spits out her milk and refuses the cup just sets my temper off like TNT.

According to one of the 80 billion websites I've been reading about cup training and mommy anger/stress one of the reasons for the anger could be guilt.

am I guilty about taking away her bottle?  Yes, I think I am.  I feel like I am depriving her of nutrients she needs, before we started cup training she had bottles at 5am (6oz), 10am(6oz), 2pm (8oz), 5pm(8oz) and 8pm(10oz)  which I know is a lot of milk, but that's on top of eating everything in site.  So yes, I am guilty.  I worry that I am starving my child, that she won't get the calcium and protein she needs.  currently we are giving her the cup for her 10 am and 2pm bottles, and it usually results in a scream fest that lasts until lunch for the 10am bottle and until nap time for the 2.

I am so thankful that she'll be going to daycare for the 2pm bottle.  it's terrible, I feel guilty about that too.  I know her daycare teacher doesn't want to deal with Screamy-McScreamerson while shes trying to entertain/feed/watch/tend 3 other one year olds.  But it's such a relief to know that I'll only have to deal with it once a day.  It's kind of shameful but totally understandable.

To be clear, she has been drinking from a cup since she was about 6 months old, she has no problem whatsoever drinking water out of her cup.  I used to be so proud that my baby knew how to drink from a cup, I really should have started the transition from the bottle so much earlier.  I think this contributes to my anger as well.  She drinks water from a cup just fine, she drinks milk from a bottle just fine, but milk in a cup, even if I snuggle her like I do when she's drinking her bottle I just end up covered in milk and fuming mad.

another 80 billion websites, that I read about 30 times a day to soothe my guilt/anger/whatever says that kids don't NEED milk.  that as long as they are getting their calcium from things like yogurt and cheese and such; and they are drinking lots of water it's okay.  And she eats yogurt for breakfast and devours cheese sticks, broccoli, spinach etc.  She also takes a multivitamin like a champ.

and yet....I'm still guilty/angry/whatever every time she shakes her head violently when I offer her a cup, or takes a drink and then lets it all dribble out her mouth, or screams when I snuggle her with a cup instead of a bottle.

The other day I just gave up and let her wander around while her cup sat on the end table.  I went into the kitchen to get her bottles ready for daycare and heard her pick up the cup and take a drink, she walked into the kitchen with a milk mustache and I went nuts praising her, hoping she'd do it again.  She didn't but I considered it a victory.

The next day I decided to just let her try wandering and left the cup out for her.  It's a spoutless sippy cup that only lets milk out when you press the lid in.  it's supposed to work because the kid presses in with her lip when she puts the cup up to drink.  My little engineer has figured out how to invert the cup with one hand and pour out the milk with the other....and that's what she decided to do since I left her to her own devices with the cup.

angry mommy.  so much for the victory.

This is frustrating and heartbreaking.  Not because she won't drink from the cup...she'll outgrow it, or she'll get her nutrients from somewhere else....but because it's a big challenge to my mommy skills and I feel like I'm failing miserably.  I don't like being angry with her.  I don't like feeling out of control.

And then I remember my first year of teaching. Looking back I'm a bit ashamed of me as a first year.  I tried so hard, worked so much and loved those students so much and yet I yelled, I got mad, I lost my temper, I had a short fuse.  Teacher training likes to talk about building your "tool kit" of things to try.  Different strategies to get your students to do what you want them to do.  And as I taught more, I learned what "tools" worked and what didn't and I changed the contents of my "tool kit".  And I got better, and better and better.  And I loved my job so much more.

Being a mom is a lot like being a first time teacher.  You have to constantly learn and adjust.  You have to learn what works and what doesn't and you have to make changes.  I am  first year teacher of a one year old...I will be a first year teacher of a two year old sooner than I like to think about it, and a 5, 12, 16 year old (yikes!).  I'm a first year teacher of weaning, I'll be a first year teacher of potty training sooner than I like to think about it.  I have a lot of learning to do.  I haven't figured out what works yet, still working on it...but I know that getting angry doesn't work.  So I'm going to make an effort to remove that "tool" from my "tool kit" and to expand my "tool kit" just like I did as a teacher.  And while I may never love the tough times like weaning, potty training and teenager-dom, I hope all my "tools" will make it more bearable for both E and me.

Communication 101

If you remember a few months ago I was lamenting my inability to communicate with E.  I am very thankful to say that E has been getting very communicative lately.  Her signing is taking off and she's been using them with great regularity and we have some first words.

We debated about the first word for  while.  She babbled mama and dada early on, but never used them in context.  And then she started the "uh-oh"s.  We are pretty sure she picked it up at daycare, though mommy and daddy do say it.  E would hold her drinking cup off the side of her highchair, look at one of us, give a little grin and say "uh-oh" and then drop her cup.  Timing baby girl, timing.  We decided that "uh-oh" was her official first word over Thanksgiving vacation when she kept using it anytime someone dropped something.

She's also saying "hi" in a very cute manner.  When she sees you, usually if it's been a while since she's seen you last, like when you are picking her up from daycare or when she gets up in the morning.  She will grin her little squinty eyed all cheeks grin and pipe "hi!".  Elorable!

I think she's also saying "daddy"  though it comes out "addy"  she has several times said it while looking in Daddy's direction.  Still waiting on the "mama"  daycare says she says it, daddy says she says it, even the babysitter I left her with for 2 hours says she said mama while there but with mama....no dice.  It will come.

Her signing is phenomenal though.  She can sign:
-more (finger to palm version)
-please
-thank you (she covers her mouth instead of just her chin and she doesn't put her hand down at the end but we're working on it)
-brush teeth (she just sticks her finger in her mouth for this one)
-eat (it kinda looks the same as brush teeth with the subtle difference that her finger isn't fully in her mouth)
-milk
-water (she puts all three fingers against her mouth instead of just the index finger)
-dog (funny story about this one below)
-cat (she does it backward for some reason, instead of drawing her hand across her cheek, she draws her hand across the back/side of her head)
-bird
-duck
-all done

The funny story about dog.  E loves Dogs.  LOVES them.  if she sees them anywhere within eye-site she gets all wiggly and starts saying "woo-woo" (woof-woof).  In her baby colors for the black and white page there is a picture of a Dalmatian.  We would sit and read the book together and I would do the signs for the animals.  Dog is signed by patting your thigh as if you are calling a dog to you.  E would (and still does) get confused and will pat her tummy, her head, her leg, anywhere she can reach.  but the funniest moment was the time when we were reading the book and I turned to the dog page.  She got excited, wiggled, said "woo-woo", looked up at me, and then patted....my leg.  She still does pat my leg if she's near me when she sees a dog.  Apparently I need to remember to do body contact signs on her not me, so that she doesn't need me to be there in order to sign.

I know talking is coming soon but I love that she can already communicate it makes my life so much easier and hers too I think.

Clever Girl

E has been learning some new tricks that are keeping Mommy and Daddy on their toes.

She has been able to open baby latches on the cabinet doors for a few months now, thankfully it's not a skill she practices much and for the big chemical cabinets we got a heavy duty baby lock.

While we were staying at Oma's house over Christmas we had a humidifier in our room, it had a knob that turned it from high, to low, to off.  One morning while I was getting dressed with E running around the room I heard the humidifier turn on, then high, then back off.  The culprit....E of course!  She would use one hand to turn the knob up and the other to turn it down.  This was pretty surprising to me since she still really struggles to work the knob on her activity center, but I guess the air from the humidifier was a much better reward than a pop up lion.

Yesterday she walked up to me with her teething tablet bottle in one hand, and the cap in the other.  Thankfully she hadn't put either in her mouth yet (no drool) so I was able to take all the medicine out of the bottle.

So baby latches are out, child proof lids are out....as my sister in law says...our only defense left is heights! Good thing she's short!

She has also learned to say no.  Not verbally mind you but by hand gestures and enthusiastic head shaking.  This makes my attempts to move her from a bottle to a cup very frustrating and messy, even with the no spill cup.  It's cute when she frantically shakes her head when offered the cup but I have to remind myself to not smile or laugh because I don't want to encourage the nos. I also have to remind myself to be patient with my little stubborn girl.

One trick she's learned lately that is much more helpful is that she can now blow her nose.  When approached with a tissue she will still fuss but once it's up to her nose if you tell her to "blow" she will!  Sometimes a demonstration is necessary but it works!  Don't get me wrong she still hates it, but at least it's progress!  I told her once she can blow her nose well I'd stop using the nasal aspirator.  I think this is motivation for her.