Daycare Blues

E has been in day care for almost a year now.  There are many many things I love about her daycare.  They are good at communicating, she has friends there, they have a nice play structure, they do occasional art projects (wish they did more) but there has been a disturbing trend going on at her daycare....the teachers are leaving.

A few months ago the director left, we don't know why just one day I went in and saw him when I dropped E off and when Ken picked her up there was a notice saying the director was gone.  It was hard because we'd developed a relationship with him and we trusted him with our baby.  For him to be gone so suddenly we figured it must have been something big (drugs, money, sex or abuse) so now not only was the person we trusted gone, but we had reason to doubt our trust in him.  Had we misjudged his character?  Did we trust our baby to someone who lost his job for abusing a child?  No explanation was ever given.

A new director came in, she's nice but we just don't have the same relationship with her as we did the previous director and ever since she came in the teachers have been leaving.  First the lead teacher in the infant room Ms. D left because she was offered a better position elsewhere.  Then the chef, no explanation given.  Then Ms. Tee the support teacher from the toddler room who E adored.

And now a one two punch to the gut.  The two ladies who were E's very first teachers.  Ms. T and Mrs. B.  I trust E with these ladies like I trust pretty much no one else outside of my family.  They are the ones who sneak into her classroom and give her kisses, or take her out of her room when she's throwing a fit and nothing will make it stop.  She sees them when she goes to school and gets super happy.  She reaches for them from my arms.  I think it's fair to say E loves them based on observation evidence.

Mrs. B left on the 7th and Ms. T leaves on the 14th.  Within the span of 2 weeks E (and my main) support system and are leaving.  One to go continue her education and to take some down time before she starts back into school.  And the other to lead a program at another school, one that is very close to Ken's new office, though he may be moving and it's about a 45 minute drive in the wrong direction for me to drop E off.  But I love this teacher enough that I am considering it.  I'm happy for them that they are getting the opportunities but I also wonder, what is our daycare doing (or not doing) that's making all the good teachers leave?

I didn't cry when I dropped E off a daycare the first day.  I was sad, but I didn't cry.

I cried today.

I came in and Mrs. B wasn't at the front desk to greet us.  Ms. T was and E was so happy to see her.  I took E into the infant classroom because her teacher for the wobbler classroom was out and E started crying.  Her buddies H and V were there and were running around playing and I kept asking her if she wanted to go play and she kept shaking her head "no" and crying, and crying, and crying.  After putting her supplies up and filling out her sheet I left her with Ms. P and Ms. R the infant room teachers and she started wailing....and there wasn't anyone to go get her, to give her snuggles and make her feel comfortable.  I kept expecting to see Mrs. B come out of another classroom, or Ms. T to go in and get her (she was in a different classroom at this point)  but no one came...and after this week, no one will ever come.  Those ladies made me feel like my baby was special to them, maybe she is, or maybe they are just really, really good teachers (because that's what really good teachers do, they make all their kids feel special).  I want someone to look out for my baby, to make her feel special, and those people are leaving.  This is my new reality.

So I sat outside her classroom and cried.