Discipline

So apparently it's common knowledge among veteran parents that the "terrible twos" actually start around one.  Why no one tells us rookies this is a mystery to me but when I tell my veteran parent friends about E's misadventures in tantrums, mischief and being generally naughty limit testing they all just smile and say something along the lines of "yeah, terrible twos start early"

So Ken and I have been working on a discipline system that works for us.  For now, when E gives us her little 'I'm going to test you right now' smirk and deliberately disobeys what we just asked her to do we do the following:

-remind her that big girls make smart choices
-tell her what a good choice would be
-give her another chance to make a good choice
-warn what the sad consequence will be (it's a 'time out'* right now)
-enforce the sad consequence

*our version of 'time out' is that we take her to her room, sit in the rocking chair with her and talk about the choice she made and why it was a sad choice and what she should do next time.  This is all happening while she is screaming her head off for her binky or to be read to, or to be let down in general.  Then we sit with her until she has calmed down, ask her to say sorry, then give her a chance to do the smart choice, with lots of hugs and praise when she does.  It's also usually accompanied by a short session with the binky after she has calmed down and said sorry.

On Monday we got a note from her daycare:

I had to recreate the note, I lost the original

Her normal teacher was gone by the time I picked her up.  I thought it might be just because she's teething and got over excited.  I got the details eventually:  she and another child were fighting over a toy and she leaned over and bit him!

I have NO idea where she learned biting, but learned it she has.  So Ken and I have been on the look-out for biting behavior.

Tonight during dessert  Ken was petting her hair and she was pushing his hand away and saying "no"  We are working with her to try to get her to say "no thank you" so I reminded her that we say "no thank you" and Ken pet her head again and she grabbed his hand and started guiding it to her open mouth.

Breaking what I just told her moments before I let out a very loud and stern "NO!  No biting!"  She looked stunned and dropped his hand.  We took away her frozen yogurt and I reminded her that it was okay to be mad but not to be mean, and biting is mean because it hurts people and asked her to say sorry to Daddy.  Her face crumpled into the realization that she was in trouble, she tried a few times to continue eating or playing, completely avoiding looking at Ken.  Eventually we had to enforce the sad consequence.

I brought a friend to time out with us, her Cookie Monster snack keeper. It's basically Cookie Monster's head and the mouth opens and closes.  I sat her on my lap and we talked about how biting hurts.  Then I had Cookie Monster bite my finger and I made a big dramatic show of saying "ow!"  And that's when she started wailing.

While she was crying on my lap I had a conversation with Cookie.  He apologized for biting me and I gave him hugs and kisses (sometimes being a parent makes you look nuts) but E kept crying and crying and crying.  She immediately said "sorry" to Ken and gave him hugs and kisses, and kept crying and crying and crying.

I think I made my point...though I may have traumatized my child against Cookie Monster in the process of doing so.  As we were getting ready for bed she saw Cookie on the dresser and said "no!no! ow!"  and started crying again.  I tried to show her that Cookie and I were friends by giving him lots of hugs and kisses and having him kiss her and promise no more biting, but she would have none of it.  She wouldn't stop crying until I put Cookie Monster in a toy bin out of sight.

I guess he'll stay there....until the next time she bites someone.

My day take 2

Last year I used today to update E's followers on my life and well being. I like that idea and so shall continue it this year... No guarantees for making a tradition though!

I do it!

So....how is momma?  Momma is good.  Momma is loving life.  Momma is amazed every day at this little person who sings and dances, runs and climbs, plays in every little puddle of water as if it were a swimming pool, talks and signs, eats and eats and eats, wants to cuddle and be independent, entertains herself and wants to be read to all the time.  She is so much fun to be around.  Momma is also lucky to have Daddy around.  Daddy helps so much and makes everything so much more enjoyable.

Momma is less tired than a year ago!  Working part time has allowed me to get a little more sleep (no more getting up at 4:30!) E still doesn't sleep through the night regularly.   But we have gotten to the point where we don't turn on the baby monitor most nights. She sleeps, but will cry in the middle of the night just enough to wake me up, even without the monitor.  She usually puts herself back to sleep but lately has been teething her canine teeth.  So she's pretty sad and woeful. (see ode to teeth).  She helped me get my Mother's day off to an early start this morning.  We got back from one of Ken's co-worker's wedding around midnight and E had already thrown up in bed for the baby sitter, who had thankfully cleaned up the baby.  Around 3:30 E woke in full woe and needed cuddles and a bottle of water.  Then again around 4:15.  At 5 she woke and demanded yogurt, then milk and didn't actually eat either, well she fell asleep mid bite of yogurt.  So I tried to lay her back in bed...big mistake!  so we ended up sleeping in the chair and eventually the guest bedroom bed until 7 or so when she woke up and actually wanted yogurt.
Thankfully this is a strange occurrence.  Most nights it's only one wake up with no mommy intervention needed. A few nights before the teething set in she actually slept through without making a peep.  Hopefully once these teeth are through we will have more of that!

Super girl!

Mommy is also loving working part time.  It's hard to give up science and my students but it's so worth having those extra hours in the morning with E and Fridays are awesome.  E has become so much more fun than a year ago.  I think I love this age the most yet (I'll probably say that for a while)  We go to Little Gym on Wednesdays and she just loves it.  We've made some good potential out of class friends.  We even wen to an Easter Egg hunt with one of them.

first Carousel!

Fridays we are starting to have Mommy and E adventures!  We go to the Children's museum or the Zoo or even just shopping or to the playground.  Soon the pool will be open and Mommy will be home full time for summer.  I do worry about going stir crazy, I will still need adult contact and time away from my E to maintain my sanity but I'm looking forward to having more Mom-ventures with her, despite the horrible summer humidity.  I've joined a meet-up group that has something almost every day. I haven't been able to go to many because they pretty much all start at 10 and I have to leave for work around 10:30 so I'm looking forward to exploring those playdate options a little more come summer!

Mommy and "sissy" on
their adventure!

Mommy is also taking more "me" time.  I went away from E over night for the first time.  I thought it would be terrible but it wasn't.  My mentee (E calls her "sissy") and I went and explored a college that she was considering.  It was wonderful to spend time with her and while I missed E and Ken it was okay.  It's good to know I can be okay away from them (and they were just fine without me!).  Ken and I are also leaving E with baby sitters that aren't family occasionally!  We actually have had 2 date nights without having to have family come to town!

In honor of the first Mom's
day post, here is E with
something random on her head!

Momma is also working on getting in shape.  We are making much smarter food decisions as a family and it's helping a lot!  We also got fitbits for Christmas and I've been loving making sure I get my goals every day.  Running around after E in the morning certainly helps with it!  So does the fact that my classroom is across campus from the rest of the school and I have to walk students to and from class at least 6 times every day!

out for a hike!

As a family we've gone on a lot more walks since the weather has been wonderful.  E loves her push tricycle, her stroller and even her backpack.  We also recently got her a bike trailer.  She's still a bit small for it and needs to be propped up with a pillow behind her so that her helmet isn't shoved into her eyes but once we figured that out, she loves riding in her trailer!  We went to the pool as a family today and I used E's nap time today to finally clean up half of the front garden bed and lay down the mulch that has been sitting on the driveway for the last 2 months.  I will probably be sore tomorrow but it's a good thing.  I'm still not as strong as I was pre-pregnancy but I'm better than where I was a year ago.  Nowhere to go but up!

helmet!

We are not looking forward to the increase in humidity, but we are going to try our hardest to still get outside.  Mostly because E loves it out there.  All day long she'll ask for "side?" "side?"  and she'll cry when we come in.  She's an outdoor girl and we want to encourage that!

So all in all, Mommy is great.  Loving this mommy business, even when it's so hard I want to cry.  It's so worth it too.

Happy mother's day!

an ode to teeth

Oh teeth, oh teeth,

You are so much woe

You bring it

Every time you grow.

You make my baby

Scream and wail,

Telling such a woeful tale.

You steal away

My precious sleep,

As all night long

E wants to weep.

We love you

Because you help E eat,

But growing you

Is such a feat.

When you are done

We will be so glad,

Oh teething makes

The world so sad.

Little things

I have been lax in posting updates, not for lack of material or desire, it's just that we have been so busy!!! That is the one word I would use to describe E currently. Busy, busy, busy!  I think this is my favorite age so far. At least 3 times a day I think to myself 'that is so awesome, I want to remember that, I should put it in my blog' and then we are so busy that it never happens.

In this brief and early moment (it's 4am, E had been waking up and asking for milk since 2am. She had 8 oz at 2, but is still demanding more, I am withholding it because 8oz should hold her for much longer than an hour. She did require a clothes change as she had over filled her nighttime diaper for the second night in a row. At least thus time I didn't have to change the sheets) since I have a tension headache and am waking for the Tylenol to kick in, I figured I would jot down some of the things I wanted to remember

- E had hand, foot, and mouth. It was woeful, but it meant I got to spend a week at home with her, which was fun, but made me very glad for my job.

- E loves eyes. She points them out frequently and says 'eye' in a very cute way. She had Easter window clings and she kept putting the Easter eggs over the bunny's eyes like glasses.

-a few nights ago E gave daddy a post dinner kiss, then leaned over to kiss mommy and let out a burp instead, hilarity ensued.

-E makes herself laugh, she tries to tickle herself 'tick-uh!' And cracks up. She also plays peek-a-boo with herself in the bathroom mirror. 'Peek! - Boo!'

-E is obsessed with her water table, if she figures out how to turn on the spigot outside we will never, ever do anything but play with the 'ishees' (fishies).

-E is climbing everything. when she gets up she has a super proud look on her face that is priceless.

-E likes 'reading' her Kimochi book. We look at the pictures of the different emotions and I ask her what each emotion says. She whimpers for sad, says 'yay' for happy etc. My favorites are silly abs cranky. For silly she makes a silly noise with her tongue that I can't really describe, but any time you ask her if she is being silly she makes it. For cranky she hits the book and says 'no!' While violently shaking her head.

-E likes to pretend to feed things... Anything,.. her stuffed toys, dolls, the bird outside, the monkeys on the wall, etc. She does this by holding up the food item in the general direction of the recipient and then saying 'nom nom nom'.

-E loves animals, especially birds and dogs. She refers to all animals with sign language and/or the sound the animal makes.

The Tylenol had kicked in and the milk monster is quiet. So I'll end this here with more to come as soon as Ms. Busy let's me!