Joy

E has been in daycare for over a month now and every time I go to pick her up I always see the older babies show joy when their parents walk in. E's responses thus far have been lackluster compared to the others. Usually she is just stone faced or if she is hungry she cries. Of course this is probably developmentally normal but it bothered me. I wanted the happy squeaks and big smiles that told those other parents how much their children missed them. It also made me think silly things like"is she happier at daycare than at home?" 'Does she not have an attachment to me anymore?" I guess I just wanted to know E missed me. Not that I wanted her to be sad without me, just to be happy to see me.
Today she granted my wish. When I came in to pick her up she gave me a smile and a full body flailing shimmy of joy. And it made all those silly doubt's go away and repaved then all with pure joy.
Tonight she also almost laughed for the first time awake too. We were bouncing and she was smiling and cooing and then said "ha" and then stopped.  The joy a syllable can bring!

Heirlooms

Recently E's Ojisan brought me his mother's china.  The pieces are not very old, younger than Ojisan himself but they have so much value to our family.  The little green ringed rose printed dishes mean so much to the Imai family because they are one of the only heirlooms we have.

E loves her granddaddy
and grandma!

Someday E will ask about heirlooms and old pictures.  The Matthews/Reeves side is full of all sorts of fascinating old trinkets and pictures.  A rich history of life in the south.  So we will be able to show her lots of information and pictures about her history on that side.  We can even take her to see the old country home her grandparents reminisce about.  We can roll biscuits on the Hoosier her great-great grandmother used.  Eat off of china that has been in the family for generations.  Hold her great-great grandfathers baby shoe.  How fun that will be to show her her roots.  To look at old photos with her Grandma, to go hiking through history with her Granddaddy.  To be able to see and know where she comes from.

And then she will ask about the Imai/Hohn side.  For the Hohn side we have some pictures of her German ancestors beyond her great-Oma's, only a scant handful but some.  We can take her to Germany and show her her Oma's child hood house and the bomb crater that she swam in as a child.  ...and then we will have to explain the bombs.  We will have to explain that the Imai's and the Hohn's were in different countries but that the courses of their lives were totally changed by events that occurred from 1939-1945, things that started before her Oma and Ojisan were even born.  We will explain how lucky she is to live in a country that has never been bombed in such a way.

Can't wait to see you again Oma!

We will tell her about Hitler and what a powerful, malevolent man he was.  About how her great-Oma was exposed to the Hitler youth, and probably a member, because at that time you were either in or you were ostracized and possibly killed.  About how we don't really know because she never talked about it and there are no pictures from that time because she didn't want any.  We will talk about the Holocaust death camps and about how good people can do very bad things because of hate, fear and ignorance.  We will talk to her about how this is a part of her history just as much as the Old Mill house in the south.  We will talk about how a country's actions can make the past something that people don't want to remember but the should never be forgotten.

And when she asks about why there are no pictures or memorabilia beyond her great-grandma on the Imai side we will talk about Internment.  About how her great grandfather, her pregnant great grandmother and their three children were told they had to leave their cabbage farm.  To sell or store all their belongings.  They had to sell their land for far less than it was worth.  They were only able to bring what they could carry.  They had to do this all because they were "dirty Japs"  Perhaps we will go to Santa Ana and talk about the stables.  How her family ate, slept and lived in a horse stable with some linoleum slapped down over the muck of the stable.


We miss you Ojisan!  Come visit
again soon!

We may go hiking in Utah, not for the beautiful canyons or great camping (though we'll do that too) but in the north, on a grassy field where we might see a few stone blocks.  Maybe by the time she's old enough to hike, the museum will be there.  The museum to Topaz, the internment camp where her family lived in roughly thrown together buildings along with thousands of other Americans.  All put there because of their heritage.  We will talk about the similarities and differences between Internment and Holocaust.    About how both wiped out the heirlooms of two cultures.  About how both are sore and sad things that the American and German people try not to think about.  About how we can't let them be forgotten but also can't let them breed more hate.
We will talk about hate and fear and propaganda.  About how people who gave into their hate and fear on one side of her family hurt others and caused a mass genocide of an entire religion.  And how that same hate and fear on a different continent hurt her family and how all her heirlooms burned in the storage facility where her ancestors had stored their things.    We will talk about forgiveness.  We will talk about making sure these kinds of things never happen again.

And then we will build new traditions and new heirlooms for her to pass on to her future generations.


Maybe we will go to the beach house where her uncle and I spent our summers with our Imai family.  Hopefully we can get her first cousins to join us since their parents were our playmates at the beach house.  Hopefully we will travel to Germany to meet and bond with her first cousin, to show them both the castles and magic of the old history.  And we will travel the southern US and explore her roots there.  And when she is older and has a family of her own, if she wants them the green ringed rose printed dishes will be my heirloom to pass onto her.

Happy 3 months! (and our first road trip!)

the penguin keeps shrinking!

Today is E's 3 month-day.  We've unfortunately started a streak of going places on her month-days so there was no song and candle.  We may have to make up for this when we get back home on Sunday.  As of today E can:
-smile - especially at mommy and daddy
-coo - especially if daddy is nuzzling her
-laugh in her sleep
-swat at objects
-hold her head up 90 degrees during tummy time
-drool incessantly
-cry very loudly

She's starting to:
-develop a pincher grip
-work her hands.  It takes a lot of concentration but she can move her hand to objects and open her fingers, sometime she can close them sucessfully around the desired object
-roll over - she's done it on accident a few times

She really enjoys:
-wrestling with her stuffed hedgehog
-playing with her sensory octopus (we named him Oso for over sensory octopus)
-nuzzling with daddy
-snuggling with mommy
-listening to mommy and daddy sing
-doing "exercises" with daddy, where daddy works her legs for her
-watching the fan...fans are facinating

She really dislikes:
-socks
-pants
-getting her nose cleaned out

having a great time with Grandma and Samantha cat

Today was also her first road trip!  She decided to prep for it by taking a 2.5 hour nap right before we left!  She woke up about 20 minutes into the drive and was super hungry so she got her first on the road bottle.  Then we had to stop to change her diaper about 45 minutes after we left.  We used a conviently McDonald's bathroom.  On her way in she managed to make an entire table of 50somethings squeal over her "cute fluffyness".  She was very content to be in her car seat as long as mommy was entertaining her.   She loved her first trip to Woody's  - our midway stopping point to get to Granddaddy and Grandma's house.  She flirted with everyone she saw there and wanted to ride up on the shoulder so she could look around.  About 45 minutes before getting to the grandparents she got pretty fussy, ate part of her second road bottle and kept right on fussing.  

loving the attention from
Granddaddy

As soon we got to Granddaddy and Grandma's house she was happy as a clam, enjoying all the attention they lavished on her and cooing up a storm.

Baby Lexicon

I cry.  It means I am not happy.  That is all.

So it seems like in all the commercials, movies and books mothers develop "an ear" for their baby's cry.

"oh that's his hungry cry" the stepford-esque, perfectly dressed and manicured mother will tout as soon as the baby starts to whimper.

I call bull dookie.

When E cries it sounds like she is crying,  Often times I may be able to deduce the issue based on clues such as time of day, yawning, a foul odor eminating from her diaper, but a difference in her cries?  bull.

So here I present to you the lexicon of baby E.L.M.:
hungry: whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaa
tired: whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaa
wet/dirty:whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaa
has a gas bubble:whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaa
is too hot or cold: whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaa
wants attention: whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaa
is done playing with that toy: whaaaa, whaaaaa, whaaaaa

Now here is a slightly more useful one
hungry: repeatedly spits out binky, sucks frantically on hand, latches onto offered boobie
tired: yawns, falls asleep
wet/dirty: smells, squishes, ocassionally leaks
has a gas bubble: drools incessantly
is too hot or cold: shivers or sweats
wants attention: looks around/stares at adult who is not lavishing attention properly
is done playing with that toy: looks away

so yeah...when she just cries and doesn't give me a physical clue...I have no idea...poor kid.  Your mom is hard of hearing, and calling bull dookie on you having different cries.  And she can't wait for you to learn baby sign so that there won't be any sort of guessing game, or at least a  more common lexicon.

Smooth and deliberate

All grabbed toys end up in the mouth!

E has really started discovering her hands.  It's completely fascinating to watch.  Where before she could hold a toy if you pried open her little fists, placed said toy in fingers and then closed her fingers around the toy, now she is doing it all on her own. 

What are you looking at Monkey?

Earlier this afternoon she and I spend a good half an hour of me just holding one of her rings up in front of her and her trying to grab it.  Her motions are becoming smoother, no more wild flailing about.  Nope, now you can see her focus in on the toy and deliberately move her clenched fist to it, then concentrate even more on getting her fingers to open and close around the toy.  Often she ends up just grabbing the toy between two fists but even that is a much more smooth, deliberate action than what she'd had before.


Dressed, fed and ready
for daycare! All before
6 am!

It seems that parenthood moves apace.  We are a smoother working machine.  No longer do we wildly flail about at night when we get home trying to ensure that everything gets done.  Whoever gets home first starts dinner.  Ken washes the bottles while I feed the baby.  I clean up while Ken gets baby time.  We both set out our clothes for the next day.  I rarely have to check my checklists anymore.  E passes out like a light switch around 8.  There are still bumps of course, like tonight with daylight savings time and a rough night last night (she is still Havoc afterall), I'm blogging and staring at a very wide awake baby.  So it's not a completely smooth machine but so much smoother than before, much more deliberate.  I guess we are all growing.

Family photos

around 8 hours old

10 days old

11 weeks old

 Keep on growing baby girl!

the time has come the walrus said to talk of other things...

...of snot and poop and leaky boobs...
...of cabbages and kings...

this post involves some t.m.i.about bodily fluids.  don't read it if you will be grossed out or offended.

Completely un-related....Oh my gosh a cow!

This week has had a lot of bodily fluids and not a lot of sleep.  E has her first day-care cold.  Our trusty nasal aspirator has been working over time as of late.  Monday night Ken and I awoke to horrible, first time parent heart-attack inducing, choking, gasping, gurgling sounds.  E had a booger caught in her throat and was having trouble clearing it.  We suctioned, and cuddled and nursed and went back to sleep...only to continue to snuffle terribly.  Ken took her for the early shift and cat napped on the couch from 1-4:30am, suctioning out her nose every so often.

Tuesday night I took the baby duty while daddy slept in the guest room.  It was an all night game of 'sleep peacefully just long enough for mommy to start to drift off, then cough or snuffle or make the previously referenced terrible noises.'  I was up for most of the night. 

Wednesday was a repeat of Monday with the only difference being Ken smartly went to bed around 9 so he was better prepared for the ugly shift.



Thankfully E doesn't act sick at day care.
That boy staring at me wants to be E's
first boyfriend.  Daddy already gave
him the daddy talk.

Thursday night...she slept, quietly and woke up at 3am to nurse with just a little stuffiness.  I thought to myself "yes! we made it through, she's getting better.  we didn't freak out like first time parents, we handled it without even a call to the nurses' line!"  and then I merrily suctioned her nose and pulled out a giant bright red booger followed by bloody bubbles. Which was of course followed by the obligatory first time parent heart attack and call to the nurses line.

So according to the nurses' line; under three months, low fever (99.0) and bloody boogers = Dr's visit.  appointment scheduled for 8:30 am to rule out a sinus infection.  Ken took her in (12lbs, 9 oz)  no fever, just a cold.  Put saline drops in to ease the nasal irritation, which should make the bleeding go away.  Buy a humidifier (which I find ironic since we live in one of the most humid places in the US) and keep suctioning her as needed.

Two side effects of this cold are that she is sleeping a lot more than normal and therefore not eating as much an it has also led to her not pooping as often, but when she does it's prolific.  All the mucus she is swallowing has upset her stomach so she has runnier than normal poops and for the first time they smell awful.  This prolific pooping has caused some containment issues on the part of her diapers resulting in a lot of changes of clothing both for her and for me.

And finally since she is not eating as much I'm having leaky boob issues; like soak through the shields, wake up in a wet t-shirt issues. The plus side is I can now give Victoria's secret models  run for their money.  The down side is they are so engorged they hurt me and so much pressure has built up in them is is harder for her to eat because it is akin to trying to drink from a fire hose .  We dealt with these issues when we first started nursing so we know all the tricks to minimize the choking, but it still happens.  This also results in her swallowing more are because she releases and re-latches repeatedly to avoid the choking.  more air = more bubbles in the tummy = more spit up and gassy fussiness.  So she's gotten me with spit up a few times and had some rough bouts of gas.



All bodily fluids aside...I can't get enough of this sweet baby!

This post took all day to write and in the course of writing this post she has blown out a diaper on me.  taken a nap on me.  during said nap she drooled so much that the left side of my pants were soaked in drool and then peed so much that the right side of my pants were similarly soaked but in urine and she slept so long I had to change shirts, twice.  When she finally awoke she ate and choked on let down twice, and then peed on me again, then proceeded to cover my shoulder in spit up- some how missing the bib and burp cloth.  Then right before bed she peed through yet another diaper...I think we need to switch diaper brands.  And i finally had the time to sit down and pump. 7 minutes and 9 ounces later I feel much relief and will probably be able to sleep tonight and hopefully wake up in a dry shirt.