Little things

I have been lax in posting updates, not for lack of material or desire, it's just that we have been so busy!!! That is the one word I would use to describe E currently. Busy, busy, busy!  I think this is my favorite age so far. At least 3 times a day I think to myself 'that is so awesome, I want to remember that, I should put it in my blog' and then we are so busy that it never happens.

In this brief and early moment (it's 4am, E had been waking up and asking for milk since 2am. She had 8 oz at 2, but is still demanding more, I am withholding it because 8oz should hold her for much longer than an hour. She did require a clothes change as she had over filled her nighttime diaper for the second night in a row. At least thus time I didn't have to change the sheets) since I have a tension headache and am waking for the Tylenol to kick in, I figured I would jot down some of the things I wanted to remember

- E had hand, foot, and mouth. It was woeful, but it meant I got to spend a week at home with her, which was fun, but made me very glad for my job.

- E loves eyes. She points them out frequently and says 'eye' in a very cute way. She had Easter window clings and she kept putting the Easter eggs over the bunny's eyes like glasses.

-a few nights ago E gave daddy a post dinner kiss, then leaned over to kiss mommy and let out a burp instead, hilarity ensued.

-E makes herself laugh, she tries to tickle herself 'tick-uh!' And cracks up. She also plays peek-a-boo with herself in the bathroom mirror. 'Peek! - Boo!'

-E is obsessed with her water table, if she figures out how to turn on the spigot outside we will never, ever do anything but play with the 'ishees' (fishies).

-E is climbing everything. when she gets up she has a super proud look on her face that is priceless.

-E likes 'reading' her Kimochi book. We look at the pictures of the different emotions and I ask her what each emotion says. She whimpers for sad, says 'yay' for happy etc. My favorites are silly abs cranky. For silly she makes a silly noise with her tongue that I can't really describe, but any time you ask her if she is being silly she makes it. For cranky she hits the book and says 'no!' While violently shaking her head.

-E likes to pretend to feed things... Anything,.. her stuffed toys, dolls, the bird outside, the monkeys on the wall, etc. She does this by holding up the food item in the general direction of the recipient and then saying 'nom nom nom'.

-E loves animals, especially birds and dogs. She refers to all animals with sign language and/or the sound the animal makes.

The Tylenol had kicked in and the milk monster is quiet. So I'll end this here with more to come as soon as Ms. Busy let's me!

E's summary...

E sums up my last blog post in 14 seconds...

Signs you have a toddler...(E at 15 months)

There comes a time in every parent's life when they look at the sweet little bundle of joy who has taken over the house and the world and wonder...are you still a baby?  Are you officially a toddler?  So here is my not so short and possibly not so helpful guide to knowing your baby has turned into a toddler (or at least the signs that my baby E has officially become toddler E):

1) Messy house

my tiny tornado after snack

With a baby your house may have growing piles of laundry and dishes left sitting in the sink, possibly even a sprinkling of toys across the living room floor.  With a toddler your house looks like a tiny tornado blew through it.  It doesn't matter how many times you pick up all the books and put them on the bookshelf, as soon as you turn away the tiny toddler tornado will remove every single book and place them in their proper place, on the ground.  Also the floor of your dining room will need at least 3 cleanings a day or it will quickly devolve into movie theatre floor levels of icky and sticky.    Your tiny tornado will delight in spreading toys in a Hansel and Gretel like fashion that leads from the bedroom, to the bathroom to the living room to the kitchen, to the dining room, etc.  Your tiny tornado will also delight in playing in the bathroom and decorating it with streamers of toilet paper.  Also your tiny tornado will be fascinated by the toilet and think that it is a great place for all toys to take a bath.  If you find yourself overwhelmed by the chaos that has become of your house remind yourself that the mess will be there long after your tiny tornado is not.

2) Imitation

food tastes better from
mommy's spoon.

mommy's shoes are awesome!

Babies imitate their parents all the time of course, mimicking facial expressions, sounds, etc.  But you will notice a drastic increase in the behaviors that your toddler begins to imitate.  From wanting to help you with mundane chores like folding laundry (her job is to unfold it of course!) or wearing your shoes and clothing to wanting her plate of food to look exactly like yours (actually it's easier if you just give her yours, less screaming that way) and using utensils that look like yours.  Or you know, are actually yours.  Please don't think that this will mean your child will be more willing to do things she previously refused to do if she sees you doing them.  For example, if your child refuses to drink milk from a cup and sees you drinking milk from a cup, she may actually take a drink of milk from the cup but then fountain the milk right back out all over the floor, herself and of course...you.  Also realize that your toddler will imitate behaviors you don't mean for her to pick up.  Your toddler will watch you constantly, and follow you around like a puppy so be wary!  If you wouldn't want your toddler to repeat your action or words, wait until after she is asleep to do it!

3) Imagination

Doctor E is in!

A baby's world is rather concrete.  They will interact with objects in ways that they are shown how or by ways they discover through play.  A toddler will begin to show signs of imaginative play.  This behavior can be as simple as driving a toy car around and making "vroom, vroom" noises.  Other examples of this behavior are things like: demanding to "feed" her stuffed animals while she is eating, using utensils and empty bowls and pretending to feed her stuffed animals, giving her babies "baths", making her dinosaurs dance to the music on the radio, or using a lighted magnifier, a broken thermometers, nasal aspirators, and old medicine dispensers to play doctor to her stuffed animals...or herself.







4) Teeth, Snot, and Illness

E's first emergency room trip.

This is not a definite sign, as younger babies can show these signs as well, and some toddlers don't struggle with these issues or go through them once they are well into toddlerdom.  However there seems to be a sharp increase in the amount of teeth, snot and due to that the severity of illnesses.  Be wary of the molars!  Just when you think you've got the stress and pain and sadness of teething down from the first 8 incisors the molars come and blow away all previous standards of woe.  Teething molars is miserable.  The snot meter goes to 11 and due to all the excess snot your toddler may develop/ be more susceptible to other illnesses.  These illnesses can result in fevers in excess of 105 degrees which can in turn result an extremely lethargic baby which in turn can result in driving speeds in excess of 60 mph in a 45 mph zone.
Said illnesses can be as simple as an ear infection but can be really, really frightening while the doctors are taking blood samples, x-rays, urine samples, and all other manner of uncomfortable and woe inducing procedures on your toddler.  While in the experience take deep breaths, remember that all the woe is for the purpose of making your toddler better and under no circumstances are you allowed to cold clock the nursing staff.  No matter how much you want to because of the discomfort they are causing your child.  It is discomfort with a purpose.

Once the first set of molars are fully in, life should improve drastically.  If you are lucky you will get a few weeks break before the next set of teeth start....but even if your toddler decides to start sprouting her canines within a few days of finishing her last molar don't put yourself under undue stress the canines are much less woe-inducing than the molars.

5) Gross Motor Development

Climbing? check!

The first signs that your baby is drifting into the toddler lane is those precious first steps.  But don't fear, walking is just the tip of the toddlerdom gross motor iceberg.  For full fledged toddlerdom you can expect to find your sweet baby in places she previously couldn't get to because she will begin climbing.  Sofas, ottomans, step stools, the playground equipment, a chest of drawers, her toy chest and even her bathtub are all now climbable.  She will be able to get into many of the places you put your off limits items and breakable items.  She will give you a heart attack by pulling out drawers and climbing into them, making you want to double and triple check that all your furniture is firmly bolted to the walls.

running? check!

Another sign is the velocity of a toddler is significantly increased from the velocity of a baby.  This can result in spectacular falls.  The important thing to remember is to not react to the fall.  If you react to the fall your toddler will devolve into a screaming mess, however if you wait to react you will see that most of the time she picks herself up and continues on her way.

Yet another sign is bouncing...a precursor to jumping.  Things like a crib mattress elevated by a pillow, or  balls, or mommy's bent leg during story time are phenomenally fun items to practice bouncing on.


6) Developing sense of self

Your baby will explore the world predominantly by putting things into her mouth and while she may object to you taking a toy from her the offense will soon be forgotten.  Not so for your newly blossomed toddler.   Her sense of self will develop rapidly.  She will become more aware of her own body.  Including identifying parts and exploring by rubbing objects against her skin, her feet, her face etc.  She will also become more acutely aware of a sense of things belonging to her.  Or the "mine" syndrome.  While your toddler may not be able to vocalize the word "mine" yet she will be fully able to communicate the idea.  She will become irrationally upset if you take a toy away, even if it's because she can't play with the toy and eat food at the same time.  And if she see other children playing with toys, especially toys she considers "hers" she will go through great lengths to take those toys back, even if moments before she was happily playing with a different toy.  And if said other child gets a new toy THAT toy will become the immediate object of desire.  You will need to work on the concept of sharing with your new toddler, and you may want to invest in a pair of ear plugs that will help you cope with the screaming that results when you even mention the word "share".

She will also be more willing to express her feelings.  Both positive and negative.  She will become much more loving, giving frequent hugs and kisses.  But she will also become much more independent, and be willing to let you know when she is upset or angry. This is a precursor to the tantrums that will come with the terrible twos.  Signs of this self expression include deep screaming, breath holding, and crying uncontrollably when told "no". Bear with the emotional roller coaster that is toddlerdom.  And employ whatever calm down strategy works best for you.  One system you can use is the "time-in" system, which is a parent included time-out.  In this system the parent sits with the child in time out and talks to them, enables them to use self soothing or external techniques to calm down.

7) Words

Your baby may have started talking earlier but as she enters toddlerdom the frequency and quantity of communication will drastically increase.  Your child may randomly spout out words like "fishy!" when you ask her if she wants a fishy cracker.  If you are doing baby sign she will pick up signs much more quickly than she did as a baby.  This increase in communication will be a great relief as she is expressing her feelings.  Now when your toddler starts screaming you can ask her to use her words and let her know that you want to help her, but that you don't understand the screaming.

A sample list of words for a 15 month old

Signs:
Please
Thank you
bye
eat
more
water
cookie
cracker
sleep
baby
play
playground
horse
cow
dog
cat
bird
elephant
giraffe
duck
sheep
fish
brush teeth
airplane
up
open
close
medicine
it hurts
daddy
mommy
book
help
wait

Spoken:
mama
dada
more
bird
close
fishy
cracker
ball
bell
bow
and of course.....NO!

The combination of increased sense of self, having and expressing opinions and the increased communication is a great portal for the word no.  Sometimes your toddler may say no sweetly, other times she may scream it at the top of her lungs, and sometimes she will even sing it in repeat.  Remember, you are the parent and you will need to help your toddler through these expressions of independence.

If your sweet baby is displaying one of more of these symptoms...welcome to toddlerdom.  It is a fun adventure in watching your child develop a personality.  Please prepare for toddlerdom with large cups of coffee, the occasional ice cream binge, and lots and lots of playground time.  Enjoy the sweet cuddles and snuggles as your sweet baby turns into a more independent toddler and use this time to practice for the upcoming terrible twos, though if you are a very lucky parent your toddler will be on the accelerated track and enter into the terrible twos early!

Sick but still impressive!

So E's been battling some illness.  We think it was all brought on by the latest round of teething,  She's working on breaking in her left side upper and lower first molars.  The right ones are already in.  When she teethes, she becomes a drooly, snotty mess. (I think all babies do).

Well the snot piled up, her Eustachian tubes swelled up and she bought herself a double ear infection.
We were in the doctors office waiting for a while because they were a little behind schedule.  So E and I spent lots of time (you know 15-20 minutes) exploring the room.  Looking at the books in the kids drawer, looking a the mirror on the wall, looking at the posters of the babies and the painting of the cat in the flowers. Eventually the doc came in and I told her about how E spent the day stuffing her fingers, cooked carrots, torn paper, pretty much anything that would fit in her ears and the night poking mommy and daddy in their ears as if to say "Hey! this part of me hurts but I don't know how to tell you so I'm going to try to make you feel my pain!" (she does this with her teeth too)  That coupled with the fact that she'd been falling down more frequently than usual, which is saying something, was enough to make me take E in, despite not having a fever.  The doc checked her out, gave us the diagnosis, a prescription, and a see you in 10 (11) days for a check up!

X-ray holder or torture device?
yes.
Side note..this is not E.

Fast forward 11 days, E is no longer trying to stuff everything on earth in her ears but she has a horrible runny nose, a temperature and a cough.  In a different exam room this time, and they aren't running as behind so we aren't in there long.  But while we are in there E keeps pointing at an immunization poster and signing cat.  I'm confused but she's really tired from spending the night hacking and not sleeping and I'm really tired from spending the night making sure she's breathing and not sleeping.  Turns out she's got some slight crackling in her lungs and its time to go for a chest x-ray.  I hope that if you have children you never have to have your infant get a chest X-ray.  It's horrifying.  Pictured here is the device they cram your kid into to keep them still and their arms out of the way.  Oh how E hated this.  Hated. It.  Screaming. Snot. Sobbing. Hate.

puffy faced but still
impressing mommy!

She came out of it screaming mad, scared and covered in snot.  But managed to sign "thank you" to the x-ray tech when prompted and then we headed back into the exam room and as we walked in she pointed at the immunization chart on the wall and signed cat (While still crying, which is very cute and very sad) and I looked at the wall and that's when it hit me.  She was asking where the cat went.  The cat. From the painting. From her last visit to the doctors office.

Knock me over with a feather.  She remembered the art that was on the wall 11 days ago!  My overtired brain decided on the spot that "My child is a genius!"...."or she just really likes cats and we spent a long time looking at that painting".  It doesn't matter it made me smile and remember what a wondrous little girl I'm mommy to.

But I really hope she forgets about the X-ray holder.  that's not a memory  I want her to hold onto. Oh and she has bronchitis from all the snot.   Woo, more antibiotics.  Hopefully she'll be back to her bright chipper less goopy, amazing self soon!

Daycare Blues

E has been in day care for almost a year now.  There are many many things I love about her daycare.  They are good at communicating, she has friends there, they have a nice play structure, they do occasional art projects (wish they did more) but there has been a disturbing trend going on at her daycare....the teachers are leaving.

A few months ago the director left, we don't know why just one day I went in and saw him when I dropped E off and when Ken picked her up there was a notice saying the director was gone.  It was hard because we'd developed a relationship with him and we trusted him with our baby.  For him to be gone so suddenly we figured it must have been something big (drugs, money, sex or abuse) so now not only was the person we trusted gone, but we had reason to doubt our trust in him.  Had we misjudged his character?  Did we trust our baby to someone who lost his job for abusing a child?  No explanation was ever given.

A new director came in, she's nice but we just don't have the same relationship with her as we did the previous director and ever since she came in the teachers have been leaving.  First the lead teacher in the infant room Ms. D left because she was offered a better position elsewhere.  Then the chef, no explanation given.  Then Ms. Tee the support teacher from the toddler room who E adored.

And now a one two punch to the gut.  The two ladies who were E's very first teachers.  Ms. T and Mrs. B.  I trust E with these ladies like I trust pretty much no one else outside of my family.  They are the ones who sneak into her classroom and give her kisses, or take her out of her room when she's throwing a fit and nothing will make it stop.  She sees them when she goes to school and gets super happy.  She reaches for them from my arms.  I think it's fair to say E loves them based on observation evidence.

Mrs. B left on the 7th and Ms. T leaves on the 14th.  Within the span of 2 weeks E (and my main) support system and are leaving.  One to go continue her education and to take some down time before she starts back into school.  And the other to lead a program at another school, one that is very close to Ken's new office, though he may be moving and it's about a 45 minute drive in the wrong direction for me to drop E off.  But I love this teacher enough that I am considering it.  I'm happy for them that they are getting the opportunities but I also wonder, what is our daycare doing (or not doing) that's making all the good teachers leave?

I didn't cry when I dropped E off a daycare the first day.  I was sad, but I didn't cry.

I cried today.

I came in and Mrs. B wasn't at the front desk to greet us.  Ms. T was and E was so happy to see her.  I took E into the infant classroom because her teacher for the wobbler classroom was out and E started crying.  Her buddies H and V were there and were running around playing and I kept asking her if she wanted to go play and she kept shaking her head "no" and crying, and crying, and crying.  After putting her supplies up and filling out her sheet I left her with Ms. P and Ms. R the infant room teachers and she started wailing....and there wasn't anyone to go get her, to give her snuggles and make her feel comfortable.  I kept expecting to see Mrs. B come out of another classroom, or Ms. T to go in and get her (she was in a different classroom at this point)  but no one came...and after this week, no one will ever come.  Those ladies made me feel like my baby was special to them, maybe she is, or maybe they are just really, really good teachers (because that's what really good teachers do, they make all their kids feel special).  I want someone to look out for my baby, to make her feel special, and those people are leaving.  This is my new reality.

So I sat outside her classroom and cried.

Singing and empathy

I need a video.  I promise a video but every time it happens I just get caught up in the cuteness and forget to record.  but I promise, I will post a video....

...of what?  Of E "singing".  E has always loved music and has been doing what I think is singing for a while, where her babbling takes on a slightly rhythmic or tonal quality that could possibly be a song to a mother's ears...which song is as good your guess as mine but it could be a song.

But now it's real and its cute...and it's..."row, row, row your boat"  the version I learned from my friend Anne's blog about her son.  The lyrics are different from the regular song they are:

row, row row your boat

gently down the stream

if you see a crocodile

don't forget to scream

(and then you scream)

E loves it and thinks it's hilarious.  Daddy and I do hand motions to go along with the song and she's even started doing them.  She gets out the first "oh" of row and then look expectantly at us.  Once we start singing she'll sometimes sing along in her little squeaky baby voice.  And at the end of the song she'll give some sort of screaming noise.

At dinner she will insistently grab at our hands and if she manages to get them she will give her little grin and start off with her "oh, oh" while making rowing motions with her hands.  Over and over and over.  We've had to put a moratorium on "row, row" until dinner is finished but almost as soon as she's done she's asking for our fingers to row with. It is very cute.

She is also staring to show some empathy towards others, specifically her friends at daycare and her dollies.  At daycare one of her friends fell down and was crying and she went over and gave her a hug and some pats.  With her dollies i will make baby crying noises and she will find her doll, pick it up to her shoulder and pat it on the back or give it a hug.  We play a game with some toys where she "feeds" the dolls.  I wasn't sure if she was understanding the pretend aspect of the game until she shared her cracker with the doll and made "om, nom, nom" noises.  (got that one on video!)

I love that she's becoming aware of others and that she's showing empathy to them.  When Daddy or I ask for a hug many times E will say "no" (non-verbally) but if we "cry" after being told no she will come over and give the hug.  Or if we are laying on the ground and saying that we need a hug to feel better she will often come up and lay her head on our chests and splay her arms around us as best she can.  It's heart meltingly cute.

Cup training

Transparency in that raising my little ELM isn't always rainbows and lollipops...

...or the first time strong willed child meets short tempered mommy.

I don't know what it is about this that is making me so short tempered.  Normally I have a slow burning fuse and it takes a lot to get me riled up.  I teach middle school children for heaven's sake! But something about the way she screams, pours out her milk, spits out her milk and refuses the cup just sets my temper off like TNT.

According to one of the 80 billion websites I've been reading about cup training and mommy anger/stress one of the reasons for the anger could be guilt.

am I guilty about taking away her bottle?  Yes, I think I am.  I feel like I am depriving her of nutrients she needs, before we started cup training she had bottles at 5am (6oz), 10am(6oz), 2pm (8oz), 5pm(8oz) and 8pm(10oz)  which I know is a lot of milk, but that's on top of eating everything in site.  So yes, I am guilty.  I worry that I am starving my child, that she won't get the calcium and protein she needs.  currently we are giving her the cup for her 10 am and 2pm bottles, and it usually results in a scream fest that lasts until lunch for the 10am bottle and until nap time for the 2.

I am so thankful that she'll be going to daycare for the 2pm bottle.  it's terrible, I feel guilty about that too.  I know her daycare teacher doesn't want to deal with Screamy-McScreamerson while shes trying to entertain/feed/watch/tend 3 other one year olds.  But it's such a relief to know that I'll only have to deal with it once a day.  It's kind of shameful but totally understandable.

To be clear, she has been drinking from a cup since she was about 6 months old, she has no problem whatsoever drinking water out of her cup.  I used to be so proud that my baby knew how to drink from a cup, I really should have started the transition from the bottle so much earlier.  I think this contributes to my anger as well.  She drinks water from a cup just fine, she drinks milk from a bottle just fine, but milk in a cup, even if I snuggle her like I do when she's drinking her bottle I just end up covered in milk and fuming mad.

another 80 billion websites, that I read about 30 times a day to soothe my guilt/anger/whatever says that kids don't NEED milk.  that as long as they are getting their calcium from things like yogurt and cheese and such; and they are drinking lots of water it's okay.  And she eats yogurt for breakfast and devours cheese sticks, broccoli, spinach etc.  She also takes a multivitamin like a champ.

and yet....I'm still guilty/angry/whatever every time she shakes her head violently when I offer her a cup, or takes a drink and then lets it all dribble out her mouth, or screams when I snuggle her with a cup instead of a bottle.

The other day I just gave up and let her wander around while her cup sat on the end table.  I went into the kitchen to get her bottles ready for daycare and heard her pick up the cup and take a drink, she walked into the kitchen with a milk mustache and I went nuts praising her, hoping she'd do it again.  She didn't but I considered it a victory.

The next day I decided to just let her try wandering and left the cup out for her.  It's a spoutless sippy cup that only lets milk out when you press the lid in.  it's supposed to work because the kid presses in with her lip when she puts the cup up to drink.  My little engineer has figured out how to invert the cup with one hand and pour out the milk with the other....and that's what she decided to do since I left her to her own devices with the cup.

angry mommy.  so much for the victory.

This is frustrating and heartbreaking.  Not because she won't drink from the cup...she'll outgrow it, or she'll get her nutrients from somewhere else....but because it's a big challenge to my mommy skills and I feel like I'm failing miserably.  I don't like being angry with her.  I don't like feeling out of control.

And then I remember my first year of teaching. Looking back I'm a bit ashamed of me as a first year.  I tried so hard, worked so much and loved those students so much and yet I yelled, I got mad, I lost my temper, I had a short fuse.  Teacher training likes to talk about building your "tool kit" of things to try.  Different strategies to get your students to do what you want them to do.  And as I taught more, I learned what "tools" worked and what didn't and I changed the contents of my "tool kit".  And I got better, and better and better.  And I loved my job so much more.

Being a mom is a lot like being a first time teacher.  You have to constantly learn and adjust.  You have to learn what works and what doesn't and you have to make changes.  I am  first year teacher of a one year old...I will be a first year teacher of a two year old sooner than I like to think about it, and a 5, 12, 16 year old (yikes!).  I'm a first year teacher of weaning, I'll be a first year teacher of potty training sooner than I like to think about it.  I have a lot of learning to do.  I haven't figured out what works yet, still working on it...but I know that getting angry doesn't work.  So I'm going to make an effort to remove that "tool" from my "tool kit" and to expand my "tool kit" just like I did as a teacher.  And while I may never love the tough times like weaning, potty training and teenager-dom, I hope all my "tools" will make it more bearable for both E and me.