not enough

More a personal update than an E update, but important to mommy.

Some days it just feels like I'm not enough.

not enough mom time
not enough wife time
not enough intellectually stimulating activities for E
not enough run around time for E
not enough house work
not enough planning for school
not enough engagement in class
not enough classroom management
not enough
not enough
not enough

Even just looking at my poor neglected blog makes me feel not enough.
not enough entries
not enough documentation of all the amazing things E does every day.

On days like this, when I pick E up from daycare and she shouts with delight and runs across the room to me I am simultaneously filled with joy and guilt.

I think part of being a full time mom, part time teacher is just learning to cope with this feeling of being inadequate all the time.  I'm so used to being able to pour everything into one thing and I can't do that anymore.  I have to be okay with what was accomplished, even if I think it's not enough.